red team shenanigans
by Team Slifer Boss 2
Summary: this is basically a collection of funny one-shots. send in your ideas for what you want to see happen next! Allons-y!
1. Chapter 1

Duna: yes hello I might look cute but I will psychologically brake you down because that's what I do when I smile, fear my mind powers!

Raptin: to easy….theta

Duna: you are correct!

Raptin: and don't call a young human chimp "cute" you hear.

Duna haha! Jealous?

Raptin: *thc* please. Let me try one.

Duna: ok.

Raptin: I WILL FUCKING EXTERMINATE ALL IN MY SIGHT TILL I GET TO DIRECTOR! I WILL HUMP DUNA TO MY LITTLE MAMAL HEART'S CONTENT! **AARHGHIFUHAAAHH**!

Duna: Gianni…and don't you dare imitate him ever again.

Raptin: what? We are the same!

Duna: you are older than me, he has a mindset, and you tend to be murderous, where he has a taken you down 5 times and he has humiliated you 10 times and he beat you 5 times and he humiliated you 10 times and should I go on?

Raptin: fine.

Duna: how about this…

Raptin: *drinks some tea*

Duna: tch, tch, TCH! I wear a cravat in private so I can look fancy while I dust every surface in my room a few hundred times, I also love to be an ass hole to people in and out of my race and Duna is superior to me in every conceivable way! She can break a males legs with one swift kick and she is fifty time better than me in every way shape and form and has a brain one hundred times bigger then my di-

Raptin: you are full of shit.

Duna: haha! Too accurate?

Raptin: you are not superior to me, idiot.

Duna: but you are an ass.

Raptin: …your face is stupid.

Duna: but it's your face!

Raptin: shut up.

Duna: how about this then?

Raptin: *drinks more tea*

Duna: OFFER UP YOUR BEATING HEARTS, CHILDREN! ADVANCE! RAPTIN! REFUEL! BUT DON'T GODDAMN ASK ME WHY OR YOU WILL RUIN MY SEXY AMBIGUITY!

Raptin: *sprays tea from his nose*

Duna: STOP STANDING THERE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL! FOR THE LAST TIME RAPTIN NO YOU CAN NOT BUY AN ASS LOAD OF STAKES TO SOOTH YOUR HUNGER! YOU WILL STAND DOWN AND DO AS I SAY! YOU DAMN KNOW MY BUDGIT IS TIGHTER THAN MY ASSHOLE! RAPTIN I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF YOUR SPINE IS BROKEN! JUST GET OUT THERE AND FUCKING FIGHT GOD DAMN IT ALL!

King Dynal: *glares at Gianni* (duna: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK! I NEED MORE POWER TO KEEP MY TOPEY IN PLACE!) Don't you fucking dare laugh.

Gianni: *trying hard not to start laughing*


	2. Chapter 2

The talent show!

Hunter: our talent is doctor who impressions.  
Sither: *EXSACTLY*! *EVERYTHING NONE DALEK ENTITY MUST BE EXTERMINATED*!

Hunter: delete. You cannot be upgraded.

Jack: whatever [*3*]

Yang: 10 out of 10 for me! [*10*]

King Dynal: pretty good. [*7.3*]

Ruby: hue hue hue!

Holt: our talent will be consuming the entire red team food supply!

King Dynal: THE BUDGET HAS BEEN COMPROMISED! SEIZE THEM!

Jack: my tea.

Yang: YOU TOUCH MY SISTER YOU DIE!

Holt: RUBY! BAIL!

Ruby: pick up and run ya'll!

Tucker: *clears his thought* yes I'm tucker and my talent is-

Gianni: HIS TALENT IS MEDIOCRITY AND GETTING REJECTED!

Tucker: oh my god, Gianni you rude fucking red!

Carolina: I'm Carolina and my talent is stabbing people in the kidneys the shock to the body so intense that it renders them unable to scream for their life.

Jack: *coughing* bruh! [*11*]

King Dynal: you can't score her eleven. [*6*]

Yang: tight… [*9.5*]

Gianni: I'M GIANNI! AND THIS IS MY TALENT! *goes to bite his own hand*

Crowd: *panics*

Yang: *gets up* LET THE DUDE SPEAK YOU SAVAGES!

Jack: *sighs* [*3*]

King Dynal: you goddamn hero Gianni. [*9*]

Cardin: oh THIS is BULL SHIT! GIANNI STOLE OUR DAMN TALENT-

Russel: *grabs Cardin by the face* Cardin you useless pectoral muscle, for ONCE in your life, SHUT YOUR FUCKING WORD HOLE!

Theta: uh….I'm theta and my talent is having fierce eyeglasses game and throwing down boss-ass doctor who references and hiding in the shadows in order to keep safe because I am afraid to die.

King Dynal: HE WINS THE CONTEST. By a landslide. [*all of the points*]

Jack: you're rigging the contest.

Yang: we haven't scored him yet!

King Dynal: oh, I'm sorry, did I miss the memo where I resigned from command? Are you wearing a fucking space crown? Are you in charge? Huh? Are you the king of this fucking castle? Are you?

Yang: *nervously laughing while backing away*

Jack: hold my fucking hand yang. *to terrified to move* the wired kid with glasses wins. Give him his prize and let us never speak of this contest ever again!

Theta: NOW I CAN GET CHOCOLET PANCKAES WITH DUBLE CHOCOLET CHIPS! *runs off grinning like a kid in a candy store*


End file.
